THE JOURNEY IN THE EYE’S OF NEW SKIN
At this point of my life, I stopped to take a look back on where I have journeyed. I would love to tell you that it was all cherries and roses, and everything was perfect and easy. But, I would be misleading you greatly.. Don’t get me wrong; I have had a great life so far.. Even through the trials and tribulations. I would not change a thing.. I do not regret where I have come from.. Even though I some times felt that I was alone.. I was not at all.
Back when I was about 12 or 13 years old. I was an average kid some might say.. Yet I was under weight. If you had met me 4 years ago, you might have thought that I was pulling your leg.. One day, my Mom was told by our family Dr. “Feed the kid. He is underweight and he needs some meat on them bones“. If I was able to go back in time and tell him a thing or two. I would have said, Mind your own business Doc.… let the kid live his own life. Well, I started to grow in every sense of the word.. At the same time, I was bit of a shy kid when I was younger and I would be teased and bullied quite a bit.. I started to feel very insecure about a lot of things, and food started to be my outlet, a great deal of comfort to me. Either having a, bad or a good day. I would scarf down some of my favorite foods. As, I got older, I did get more bold and the bullying stopped because, I took care of the situation. I would owe a lot of my strength to a bus driver we had in Grammar school named Toby. He was an inspiration to me. It was kind of like in “A Christmas Story” When Ralph would be bullied by that kid, and Ralph snapped one day. And beat the Tar out of him.. My Bully was Tom Grace.. No one got near me again.. Then I started to fight more often, but in the cause of all those that could not defend themselves. Then, a few kind hearted upper classmen football players at my high school decided that they needed to help me. ..
I was not shy anymore to say the least.. But, the eating habit continued.. Unknowingly, I kept the dream alive.. I went to culinary school Graduated with honors. My career grew and I was doing very well.
In 1996, things started to go into a bit of a Muck and Myer.. I lost 2 jobs, lost my car, got a car from my Brother ~n~ law, Got in an accident., found a job that was about a mile away bought a Bike to ride to work, the Bike was stolen!!! I walked to work in the dead of winter a mile a day to deliver fish to restaurants all for all for $5.90 an hour .. My roommate was a drunk, and he pulled out his gun and almost pulled the trigger, until I cried out dear Jesus, HELP… He fell to his knees in tears. I ran to my room and did the same.. Cried out… What do you want of me? My Mom and Dad had no clue what was happening.. 2 minutes later. My Mom called and told me that I needed to come to Florida.. I said to her, “wait.. let me think for a minute, can I check my plans. OK… I’m there!!!!” It is love that pulls us through…In a Moment.. Thank you Jesus!!
I got to Florida, Got a great job at a resort on a Island. Worked my way up in the company to Garde Manger “management” .. Got laid off… was out of work for 2 years.. A Great Christian man, a friend of mine that happened to be a Doctor. Had a Ranch, and all I had to do is maintain the 18 acre land and, I could live there for free. I had a 3,000 sqft. ranch house to myself for 2 years.. Even though I was out of work, I never went without.. I had food on the table, Car bills and repairs were paid.. I had a great family in Florida that always took care of me.. In Mind~ body~ and Spirit.. And the power of that was God. .I never gave up, I always thought of myself as a Lover and a fighter..
I was always looking for ways, new ways or old ways to better myself.. To make a difference in this world.. I started an in-home Catering Service.. That was a hit.. I cooked for many families, Celebrities (Sports, Rock Bands, Radio so on..) I did very well.. Then the economy took a bad turn and everyone was holding on to their money. and that fell away too. Then I was about to go Back to CT. and The Ritz-Carlton called.. Oh yes.. No matter how bad things seem to be, When one door close’s 2 open up!!!… I was one of 3,000 candidates that was chosen for the position.. God is good..
In all of this.. I got so big in my weight.. I topped 458lbs.. I would get looks of discussed from many people. I would walk by and they would laugh or shake their heads. People who I thought where my friends talked about me and gossiped behind my back.. It broke my heart. I can not begin to tell you how I felt.. I would not be chosen for position that I wanted because of my weight. I was shunned by a pastor at my church that would not allow me to sing in the praise team or be in the drama’s because of my weight. I was alone in this world. All because of the vain, selfish and egotistical evil people. I can not sit here and judge either.. I have done many things myself that I am not proud of.. We are all sinners, Some choose to be saved by Grace, and we call fall short…
I dated a few even at this point in my life; But, many of them that I asked would either roll their eyes, or the brush off of politeness would say yes, and I would never hear from them again... I was in denial. But I woke up. I said that I would not do this for anyone but myself. I need to change my life and fast.. I was inches from a heart attack. I did every diet in the world over the years and nothing stuck. I started to look for a solution.. I was introduced to a surgery that was called the Lapband… I went 4 years and 3 Dr.’s before, I found the right one.. One of the (Dr’s ?) I went to did not even have a licenses to do the surgery.. I was a day away from getting it and, he called me up and canceled.. God was looking out for me.. I did not see it that way at the time. I was too angry.. I wanted to hurt him for mis-leading me and almost performing surgery on me. I am happy for accountable Brothers, that I got back on track again and finish what I have started.. My sister who is one of the top professional Nurses in a Yale New Haven Hospital, called the freak up and chewed him to bits. I believe that she reported him….
On May 5th, El Cinco de Mayo . I got another type of surgery called the sleeve. It was a little more invasive then the Lapband but, I would have no complications to this day.. It was to cut the stomach itself and make it about 3oz, then they stapled it.. They showed it to me on an x-ray.. It looked like a Banana.. LOL This surgery was a tool, not the solution.. I had to still do all the work.. I could as well started eating a lot and stretched it out again.. But…. I believed….. I had faith that I was not alone in this.. If I asked I would receive. To this date, I have only 40 more lbs to go and most of that is extra skin before, I will be at my personal goal of 200. My Dr.’s goal, I am at now!!!.. Hallelujah!!!
It is not over; I have to “finish the race“. To those that except little responsibility, receive greater.. I found that out the hard way.. I am now looking back and, now…. “Remembering the chains. The Chains that kept me bound and not able to achieve all that I can for God and me. If I do not love myself I can not love others and, help them through something that I have been through.. I am here up north now, closer to my parents. They are turning 80 next year. And my Mom is ill, and although she would not always admit it, she needs me and I need to be needed. I need her and my Dad.. I don’t want any regrets in life, I have none but, I am not about to start.. Let’s just say at this point in my career; I am most appreciative to have a job. I am blessed to have a roof over my head and bills paid and food on the table and by which my food bills for the month is now cut 75%. I do not live for food any more. I live to live life… I am not held captive by my short comings any longer.. I have Been Freed!!!
Note; I am here for anyone that wants to know more about all of this. Message me on Facebook or e-mail me..
Love all of you that where there for me from the beginning to now.. . Thank you for YOUR Love and support. God Bless you all!!! In Jesus’ name..
